spikey yellow rock

today...you passed a stone.
you came out of the bathroom with it in your hand.
"what's that?" i asked.
really, i was just afraid that it was true.
"why aren't you crying?" i didn't know why you were alright, when i know how painful those are.
you started telling me how you pulled it out with my earring.
it's then i noticed the tears i hadn't seen before. it's then i equated the pain and the mind hardships. thinking about having these blasted stones in your future.
darling, my love, i hate that. i felt for you. i feel for you. i just wanted to hug you and rub your back. because i thought that was the most i could do. the best i could do. to help.

i later found this note i'd written in the waiting room. when i went to visit you in tally to have your surgery.
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you're beautiful when you sleep. you are so brave, you know. i don't know if i could have been as brave as you were today. it hurts me to see your understated pain. it hurts even more because of how strong you're being, when i know your insides are burning.
sitting in the waiting room...i couldn't focus on much else, but you.
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you are so strong, so brave.
and i can only think to hug you, love you, and pray that this kidney stone thing goes to rest...soon.